The only one thing that you requested was for the garbage to be taken out. But, unfortunately, it never got done. “I Didn’t hear you”, they say. Why aren’t you surprised that your partner didn’t hear the one thing they wanted done? The popular term for this is “selective hearing,” and it’s often a sign of failed communication.
This “selective hearing” is often viewed as a kind of character flaw. Accusing somebody of selective hearing is saying they weren’t listening to you. But selective hearing might actually be related to untreated hearing loss instead of a short attention span.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve likely been accused of selective hearing at some time in your life, even if nobody used that specific term. When you miss all the stuff you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the bit about the chocolate cake, but you don’t hear the part about the calories. Things like that.
As a behavior, selective hearing is extremely common. However, most studies point to men failing to hear their partners more often than women.
How people are socialized does provide some context and it may be tempting to draw some social conclusions from this. But the other part of the equation may have something to do with hearing health. If your “selective hearing” starts to become more common, it might be a clue that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Hearing loss can create gaps in communication
Undiagnosed hearing loss can indeed make communication a great deal more challenging. You’re probably not surprised by that.
But one prominent indication of hearing loss is communication issues.
Symptoms can be really hard to detect when hearing loss is in the early stages. Perhaps you begin turning the volume up on your tv. When go out to your local haunt, you have a difficult time hearing what people are saying. It’s most likely because the music is so loud, right? But besides situations like that, you might never even notice how loud everyday sounds can be. This lets your hearing slowly (but surely) diminish. You barely notice the problem until you’re at the point where you often have trouble hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming worried about the health of your hearing
You will notice some of the people in your life are beginning to be concerned. Your family and friends will likely be frustrated when they think you’re purposely missing what they say. But as it turns out more and more frequently, aggravation may turn to worry.
So, your partner might suggest you schedule a hearing test to determine if something is wrong.
Your partner’s worry is relevant and it’s essential for you to recognize that. Have an open discussion and consider that they are coming from a place of caring and not just annoyance.
Other early indications of hearing loss
If your selective hearing has become worse over time, it might be worth watching out for some of these other early indications of hearing loss. Here are some of those signs:
- Needing to ask people to talk louder or slow down
- Turning up the volume on your devices
- Difficulty hearing in crowds
- When people talk it sounds distant or muffled
- Consonants are hard to make out
You should contact us for a hearing test if you experience any of these symptoms.
Use ear protection
Safeguarding your hearing is so critical to preventing hearing loss. If you can’t stay away from overly loud noise, be certain you use hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Hearing aids can also help you have more effective communication, which can smooth over many rough spots that your hearing loss may have caused in the first place.
In most circumstances throughout your life, selective hearing will be an artifact of a diminishing attention span. But you may want to take it as a sign that it’s time for a hearing test when people around you start to observe your selective hearing getting worse.
